Psychological pressure: strong defense against manipulation in four steps
Everyone knows for himself how bad it is to be the object of pressure from someone else. A little confused – and you start acting like an automaton. How to get out of the usual rut? The first thing to do is stop your impulsive response and understand the kind of pressure you are experiencing. This can be done in different ways.
- To buy time, ask questions
Based on the above examples, in the first case it would be good to ask: “May I disagree?” If the partner said that you are free to choose, then you can refer to this statement and refuse. If a hint of your addiction has been made, try asking if your refusal will entail any consequences.
- Establish the kind of strength that the partner uses
You really need to identify the source of his power over you. Then you can more accurately organize the rebuff.
Maybe he is counting only on a cry – he will competently not give in, but wait until his loud stock runs out, when he starts to play the same techniques a second time. Then the third … Or, perhaps, the pressure is organized through those present: “Just look …”, “Tell me …”, “It’s clear to everyone that …”
Do not be discouraged, carefully study the reactions of those to whom these phrases seem to be addressed. The mere fact that you are considering these people compels them to give you some kind of signal. Complete unanimity of observers is very rare. It may turn out that there is someone who will come to your defense. You can always turn the silence of those present to your advantage.
The main thing – do not let yourself be broken, calmly and slowly object. Look for opportunities to question the type of strength identified or to weaken it in some other way.
For example, there is a reference to authority – we weaken either the authority or the scope of applicability of the judgment: they say, for this case, it is not suitable, or only partially fits. If your partner focuses on your age, find arguments in favor of your age as well.
- Find a new kind of power where you are stronger
This can be: someone else’s support, a previous relationship, your role as a moneymaker or order organizer for the company, etc.
For the sake of preserving the prospect of cooperation, it is best to avoid using explicit repressive pressure. It is best if your arguments relate to any previous agreements. It’s good if you can expand the logic of inquiries in such a way that circumstances or objective requirements suggest a different solution – great if it suits both sides (the strength of your ability to analyze a problem is combined with the strength of objective circumstances).
Make sure not to get carried away in carrying out attacks on your partner, not to revel in your qualifications as a debater. After all, you only need to align the balance of power. Once you have completed the task of neutralizing the pressure, look for an opportunity to agree on how you can solve the problem, what needs to be done for this. Then you can discuss how you will interact in similar situations from now on.